Children are often afraid of the dark, that fear can be easily chased away by just turning on the light and exposing things for what they are, so lets shine the light on the world of haters. In case you don’t know what a hater is, this is my best description.
Hater – A person that simply cannot be happy for or is jealous of another person’s success. Rather than be happy the hater makes a point of exposing a actual or made up flaw in that person. The hater speaks badly, and/or takes negative actions in attempt to create problems for or actually hurt a successful person.
People who are “haters” only hate up. They only talk about people who are where they want to be. Would someone spend time and effort tearing down someone below them. If they are hating on you … take that as a sign that they think you’re already above them. In short they are jealous.
Many times I have seen people (so called friends) act this way towards me and in my mind I was thinking “how can they be jealous of where I’m at … i’m jealous of where they are at”. It’s that old saying “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”. Who are these so called haters and why do I even care what they think?
Lets shine the light on the different types of haters. I have put them into 5 different categories. I may not have covered all the the types but I think it’s a bright enough light that exposes them for their true selves.
1 – The Pirates: These are the people who exist to steal your dreams. They see what you’re doing or have and they want it for themselves but they’re not willing to do the work. The Pirate will also think you don’t deserve it. They look at your fame, your popularity, your friends, your career, etc., and think that you are not worthy of these things, because they are only looking at things at surface level.
They don’t care about the hard work you had put in behind the scenes — your sacrifices, your worries, your fears and the pains you’d gone through. Because they themselves are superficial. The Pirate also tends to be …well … a pirate. Pirates steal money – they may not hate you but hate the fact that you are making money and they are not.
2 – The Guardians: This is the most unusual type of hater. These are your friends and family, who want to protect you from embarrassment or failure. They’re often going to try to keep you from doing things that might make them look bad or they really think they are protecting you. They are not “Haters” in the traditional sense — there’s no hate here but make no mistake, they are holding you back.
3 – The Gatekeepers: They represent their own “status quo”. They do not want to see anything in their world change because that would mean that they themselves would have to change or Lord forbid … do something different. They are afraid to leave their comfort zone.
Remember they are “TRYING” to be the gatekeeper, because there is no real gatekeeper in life. The gatekeepers you see standing guard are not in charge of anything and you can walk right past them and their is always more than one way to enter.
4 – The Coward: These haters are almost always anonymous. Think about this, why are they hiding when they say the things they say … because they are afraid. By saying things anonymously they don’t even have to take responsibility for what they say. It is cowardice at its finest.
5 – The Hate All: The title explains them exactly, they hate everything. They are not just a hater of you but each and everything they see all the time. They are the type of person that if they had a terminal disease they would even hate on someone who had a worse terminal disease.
6 – The Empties: This type of hater is the saddest of all. They hate because they have nothing better to do in life. I sometimes feel bad for these people and want to help them but they would think you’re helping is really you trying to hate on them. Their day consists of surfing the web, stalking other people’s Facebook and Twitter pages, and posting hateful comments on blogs and YouTube videos, they really don’t have much else to spend their time and energy on.
The lowest of them stoop to writing long hate mails. All these activities give them that momentary sense of purpose and achievement in life. Perhaps your haters don’t even really dislike you that much. They just like hating on other people. Hating has sort of become a lifestyle for them. Their life just isn’t as great and exciting as yours and they need attention. What these haters are most afraid of is silence.
They feel their alive when they know that you heard their voice. They need to put someone down to feel good about themselves. Lots of self esteem issues need to be worked out long before actually facing the hating in this persons life.
Haters can sometimes be a good thing. They can sometimes expose some real vulnerabilities. Sometimes there is a small hole in our wall that only someone from the outside can see. These types of haters often become the best allies because the scrutiny they naturally have is a blessing if used for good.
Lets not forget the saying “their is no such thing as bad publicity” It’s true, fame and fortune can come from the most unexpected places so let the haters hate. Last way a hater can be a good thing is that if you have one or them, they validate that you are succeeding. Remember what I said earlier … haters only hate up.
So now that the hater has been put under the microscope and we see them for what they are how do we overcome. First think I can say is stick to your vision. For me I have to think … “Are they really effecting my bottom line?” Most of the time the other person is not even on my radar. That airplane is not even in my air space, keep flying forward and power up! Derek Halpern writer of Social Triggers says “Every second wasted fretting over one hater is a second you can spend making a loyal customer happy or even happier.”
The hater should not carry more weight in your head than someone who likes you. You could have a hundred friends but if you get one hater don’t go crazy inside, ignore them. If you don’t let them get under your skin you win. Try killing them with kindness. They really want you to fight back but if you treat them with kindness you are either going to make a friend or heap coals on their head. Finally just succeed and smile.
George Herbert once said “Living well is the best revenge”. Remember, haters are gonna hate so Keep Calm and Carry On